Believe it or not, there’s a big correlation between the quality of our sleeping arrangements and our mental health. Actually, that’s not very hard to believe. A bed-mate can provide “a sense of safety and security… [while], reducing risk for psychiatric disorders…”. Trial and error is a major part of the process in the beginning stages as you adjust to the other’s sleeping habits and become more comfortable. For those of us sleep-deprived souls, here are some tips from real life couples and experts who want your sleep to be the best eight hours of your life.
Use your partner’s attributes to your advantage – especially if they’re way taller
“Sharing the bed is like sharing anything else in a relationship: it’s all about compromise,” says Timmy from Greenpoint, “My partner is a lot bigger than I am, and naturally, takes up more of the bed. So I find it’s important to set a precedent early on in the relationship and carve out a section of the bed to call my own. When that doesn’t work, I just embrace all-night cuddling. It’s not so bad.” Tim admits that he practices the ‘hug and roll’ method à la Ross from Friends… “The trick is to not wake her up in the process. Sometimes, it doesn’t work.” Be more easy-going like Timmy, most people don’t really like Ross.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, or even the big stuff
Because come on, we’re all gonna die some day anyway. So, your girlfriend snores like a lawnmower that just ran over a smaller, but equally loud lawnmower. Bummer! While sleep is very precious, give yourselves time to get used to your unique nighttime quirks and be open about finding solutions for the aspects that can’t be ignored.
“Be aware of the other person,” says certified sex coach and writer, Gigi Engle, “if you snore and are driving your partner nuts, get it checked out. Because, you might need a sleep apnea machine.” Gigi says that — surprise — communication is a part of sleeping together (and basically every other part of the relationship) and that even a seemingly innocuous thing like sleeping on ‘their side of bed’ can make a huge difference; “Have designated sides of the bed so you know your spot. You may want to switch and that’s OK. Just have a conversation about it. Also, don’t go smaller than a queen bed.” We’re all adults here, people; you deserve a large bed.
Make your bed somewhere you want to be
Your bed is not an office, car or kitchen table. Your bed is for one thing: sleeping, cuddling, piping hot sex, jumping up and down like youths and stretching. OK, so your bed is for many things – but your bed as what it should be: a place where you can unwind, relax and recharge.
If you know you like your sheets with a insanely high thread count, get them. You spend about 9,000 days in your bed over the course of a lifetime, so why wouldn’t you want to treat yourself and your partner to a luxurious experience?!