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Remember American Psycho? Why Patrick Bateman’s Grooming Routine Is The New Norm

Patrick Bateman’s grooming routine in “American Psycho” was progressive and aggressive even for the excessive 80’s. Sure we had seen Tony Manero preen in “Saturday Night Fever” and watched Al Capone’s straight edge shave in “The Untouchables”. But “American Pyscho” introduced us to a level of obsessive #selfcare the likes of which had never been seen before. Fast-forward eighteen years after this film had hit theaters, and this compulsive character’s grooming habits seem downright normal. Hell, today men’s Korean skincare routines have at least nine steps. When it came to the morning grooming regime, Bateman was way ahead of his time. We break it down here because ignoring your skin can be deadly.


Burning the candle at both ends can leave your face looking like a haggard corpse. After a long night of business boozing, this MenScience Eye Gel Mask fresh from the freezer can help reduce the bags under your tired peepers. Chill for twenty minutes, and you’ll notice the swelling subside.


 Using a body scrub filled with plastic micro-beads can be lethal, especially for the environment. Bateman would have found Kiehl’s Ultimate Man Body Scrub Soap a highly efficient exfoliator. It removes dead skin and smoothes out rough spots using natural bran, oatmeal, and pumice



 Patrick Bateman’s grooming routine is all about getting energized. Grooming Lounge Our Best Smeller Body Wash has an invigorating, unbeatable Black Pepper scent guaranteed to get your blood pumping. It’s the perfect morning body wash to get you ready for a rigorous day of investment banking, but not at all recommended for committing heinous criminal acts.


An overachiever like you doesn’t have time to turn your bathroom into some kind of girly spa experience. We get it. But, what if we told you that using a mask would improve your morning shaving routine? Bateman knew that using a gel mask like Ursa Major Bright & Easy 3-Minute Flash Mask would reduce inflammation, razor burn, and shaving bumps by dissolving dead skin cells and improving your complexion. This formulation has Pomegranate Enzymes and may other natural skin-brightening wrinkle tightening ingredients that will improve your skin in a flash.




Patrick Bateman’s grooming routine included an alcohol-free post shave cool down. You can battle bumps and ingrowns with Anthony Shaveworks “The Cool FixThis targeted mixture of Glycolic and Phytic Acids frees trapped hairs and calms irritation and redness. It’s also works great as a spot treatment for ingrown hairs below the neck and below the belt.



If “American Psycho” premiered today, you can be damn sure that Patrick Bateman’s grooming routine would include a moisturizer with UV protection. Lab Series Daily Moisture Defense Lotion SPF 15 is a lightweight hydrating lotion with solar-activated protection. It will protect your skin from the sun’s harmful rays but not Patrick Bateman’s dangerous ways.


An under-eye cream is the unsung hero of your skincare regime. Baxter Under-Eye Complex battles puffiness, fine lines, and dark circles while soothing your tired eyes. Apply a small amount of this cream containing Gingko Biloba, Rose Hips Seed Oil, and Aloe Vera Gel to bring your tired eyes back to life.



Finish off your morning grooming routine by locking in all this skin nourishing goodness with Jack Black RxSeries Protein Booster Skin Serum. It’s a clinical strength product with active anti-aging ingredients. It reduces wrinkles, moisturizes and boosts your skin with vitamins and minerals keeping your skin looking youthful and alive.




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