Surviving The Hotel From Hell

cheap new york hotels Surviving The Hotel From Hell

Just returned from New York after two days of shooting product images for our 2012 Catalog. Great creative team putting it together, awesome photographer, inspiring city and unfortunately… the grossest hotel experience of my life. Here’s how this Grooming Guy overcame a tragic mis-booking (not sure how AMEX gave it 3.5 stars and it was $300+) and lived to tell about it:

THE STENCH: Immediately upon entering the prison-cell-sized room, the smell of countless hours of cigarette smoke surrounded me and caused some tears (allergy — not sadness induced). After calling the front desk and being informed that the only “non-smoking” room available had no air conditioning, realized a huge Molton Brown Black Pepper Candle was in my bag for day #2 of the shoot. Lit that sucker up and stepped out for a few sleep-inducing beers. Marlboro was no match for Black Pepper.

THIN SHEETS: When the actual mattress can be seen through the sheets… that’s a problem. There is a solution though, especially if pride isn’t a factor. Simply put a pair of clean socks on your hands and remove all existing sheets and comforters, then call the front desk and request a set of four clean sheets. Once cleanliness of new sheets is confirmed, mummify mattress and pillows and that bed is good to go. That’s how it went down.

NASTY FLOORS: Although camouflaged within a dark palette of dizzying colors, the room’s floors were certainly up to no good. That’s when one needs to “build a bridge.” Through a combination of fresh towels laid out to span the distance between bed and bathroom (and of course, wearing socks and shoes whenever possible), I was able to avoid any direct foot-to-floor contact.

TAKING A SHOWER: Not even an option at this joint, but nothing a $20 bill  and an iPhone can’t fix. After checking out and fleeing the scene suitcase in hand, I Googled “luxury health clubs,” walked a block to one and told the attendant my sob story. That, combined with an “Andrew Johnson” handshake enabled me to use a private shower and literally and figuratively wash away the remnants of the previous night.

All in all, about five hours of sleep and although the painful memories remain, the catalog is going to look great. Hotel refund in progress.

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5 Comments

  1. Thomas J.
    Posted July 21, 2011 at 11:26 AM | Permalink

    Are you getting a refund? What was the chain called. Sounds like you could have just switched hotels.

  2. Grooming Lounge
    Posted July 21, 2011 at 2:00 PM | Permalink

    Trying to get a refund, but don’t want to “out” hotel. If it wasn’t close to midnight, would have certainly headed elsewhere. Thanks.

  3. Nathan
    Posted July 31, 2011 at 6:51 PM | Permalink

    hey GL, was also curious about what hotel – thought it was ACE ???? the post linked to the catalog, so i check it out – looks cool. What happened to Anthony and Baxter? two of the better brands you sell – phasing out? they are not in the catalog?? And going back to the hotel … why not OUT them?

  4. Nathan
    Posted August 1, 2011 at 9:22 PM | Permalink

    hey GL, was also curious about what hotel – thought it was ACE ???? the post linked to the catalog, so i check it out – looks cool. What happened to Anthony and Baxter? two of the better brands you sell – phasing out? they are not in the catalog?? And going back to the hotel … why not OUT them?

  5. Grooming Lounge
    Posted August 2, 2011 at 9:15 AM | Permalink

    Thanks for the note Nathan. No, wasn’t the ACE NYC, have only had good experiences there. This was a chain outlet — not good. As for Anthony and Baxter — they are still key partners of ours, just didn’t link up on the catalog last year.

  • About Grooming Lounge

    Michael Gilman is Founder of The Grooming Lounge, the country's premiere destination for men's grooming products, services and advice. In this blog he'll talk about his business, customer service, the gentlemanly arts and whatever is currently bothering him.

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