While there are tons of magazines and web sites showcasing the appropriate ways for men to conduct themselves at work, on dates and while at parties, there’s seemingly nothing that outlines exactly how men should handle their business in public bathrooms. No double-meaning intended, but it’s a “shit-show” in these lavoratories, — with seemingly normal gents discarding any sense of decorum once amongst their bloated brethren. This just has got to stop. Here’s how…
WHEN IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM, DON’T….
SPEAK TO ANYONE: A smile and a nod will always suffice in this environment.
EAT ANYTHING: This has just got to be self explanatory.
COMPLETELY UNDO THE PANTS: While we all need to re-tuck once in a while, doing so at the urinal is forbidden. Nothing can quite compare to the site of a grown man peeing “four-year-old style.”
SPIT GUM INTO THE URINAL: Why should a poor custodian have to dig your Hubba Bubba out of that nasty trench? Put it in the trash.
VIOLATE URINAL SPACING: Numbers can make it tough, but whenever possible, always leave a buffer urinal between you and your co-horts.
TALK ON THE PHONE: Bluetooth, headset or hand-held, no one should have to endure overhearing or being on the other end of such a “doody call.”
LEAVE TP ON THE SEAT: Not exactly a treat for the next user. Just nudge that stuff into the bowl with your foot if needed.
SING: Whistling is borderline permissible, but save the golden pipes for the shower.
DRINK OUT OF THE SINK: Can’t explain why on this one either.