Grooming Tips For Santa

BAD SANTA Grooming Tips For Santa
In a few weeks he’ll be sleighing the globe, dropping presents in chimneys, making rash decisions about naughty-ness, devouring cookies, etc. Leading up to this date, he’s sweat-shopping it with the elves – creating toys, ties and such for all of you. That Santa… he’s quite the giver.

But who takes care of the jolly fat man, gives him presents and advice? Aside from the Mrs…. probably no one. Until now. You see, Grooming Lounge wants to give back to Santa via some timely grooming products and tips. These items are being sent up north as we speak.

- Bluebeards Beard Wash & Saver: No offense “ZZ Claus,” but that beard could stand some maintenance. Using these items will keep it clean, cookie-crumb free and soft.
- Panasonic Nose & Ear Hair Trimmer: We haven’t seen it first-hand, but experience tells us that with that much facial hair, there’s bound to be some excessive nose and ear hair. That’s naughty in our book.
- Balla Powder: That heavy, hot suit and sitting for hours and hours is a sure-fire recipe for “bat wings.” A drop of this down those trousers is very “nice.”
- Nature’s Call Toilet Deodorizer Spray: Eating all those random cookies, made with who knows what, is bound to have an effect on the “boiler.” Make sure Mrs. Claus doesn’t feel the brunt of that trauma by putting a few of these in the can “pre-business.”
- Nickel Morning After Rescue Gel: After a long night of delivering gifts around the world, Santa might not be so jolly the next day – until he slaps some of this on.

Ho, ho, ho.

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  1. Danni2
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 12:03 PM | Permalink

    This is really funny. Doesn’t he need a haircut too or some grey coverage?

  2. Real Deal
    Posted December 11, 2012 at 12:04 PM | Permalink

    What are bat wings GL?

  • About Grooming Lounge

    Michael Gilman is Founder of The Grooming Lounge, the country's premiere destination for men's grooming products, services and advice. In this blog he'll talk about his business, customer service, the gentlemanly arts and whatever is currently bothering him.

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